Heard in Europe

A summit on the Western Balkans will take place on Thursday (27 August) in Vienna, amid enlargement fatigue, and fear of the migrant wave submerging the region from the outside, but also stemming from the region, overwhelming wealthier EU countries.

To dispel the gloomy mood, a football match will take place tonight in the Austrian capital, between the appropriately-named FC Europe, and Future Europe.

The referees are reported to be European Neighbourhood and Enlargement Negotiations Commissioner, and Serbian Minister of Foreign Affairs Ivica Dačić. Their selection is due to the fact that both are more or less physically fit. It is assumed that the referees run more than the football players themselves.

FC Europe stars the photogenic (some would say teenage-looking) Austrian Minister for Foreign Affairs and Integration, Sebastian Kurz, and officials from the Commission’s DG NEAR.

Future Europe features the talents of Serbian premier Aleksandar Vučić, his Albanian colleague Edi Rama, Kosovo’s deputy PM Hashim Thaçi and other leaders from the Western Balkans.

The Serbian press is very excited, because the match will be a prefect chance for photographers to picture Vučić holding Kurz in his hands. Pronounced ‘Kurz’ in Serbian, it sounds extremely similar to kurac, which means penis.

Up until now, Serbian politicians have always avoided standing very close to Kurz, for obvious reasons. But on a football match, you never know. When you have no accession perspective, it’s always best to enjoy a photo opportunity.

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